I’ve been uploading videos to YouTube and my Facebook business page since I got back home from the Bahamas, and uploaded the last one tonight. The sound was off in the video, but I improvised with music and text.
The video is of me in a long, black gown for our one formal dinner night. I don’t even remember what I was saying on the video that night.
But the song I chose for this video is a POWERFUL message, which is my story: that my life is not my own, that God has always carried me, and that it all rides on FAITH somehow – in Christ.
God has always carried me throughout my life. I’ve felt His loving presence ever since I was a little child. He carried me through:
- childhood physical and sexual abuse
- domestic violence in my 2nd marriage
- the aloneness and stresses of single motherhood
- multiple dysfunctional, immoral and painful relationships with men
- 3 abortions (and Post Abortion Syndrome)
- 2 broken marriages and divorces, and a current marriage that’s been @#!*% at times
- Two children who had serious medical problems (miraculously healed, thank you, Jesus!)
- Foreclosure and bankruptcy
- Financial destitution
- Spiritual Abuse by leaders in the church
- Attacks and false accusations by family and “friends”
- Loneliness
- Depression
- Panic attacks
- Judgments from Christians
- Much more.
Yes, God has carried me through it all. He’s never left me, always been there.
And He’s given me beauty for ashes:
- salvation
- deliverance
- forgiveness when I deserved His wrath
- emotional, inner healing
- the gift of laughter
- favor
- blessing after blessing
- answered prayer after answered prayer
- joy unspeakable
- peace
- three beautiful daughters, my greatest and most undeserved gifts from God
- a husband who’s stayed with me for 20 years, despite myself
- 3 precious grandchildren, who are my laughter and double blessing
- a sister who is my precious friend
- in-laws who love me anyway
- nieces and nephews, so dear to my heart
- incredible friends, online and offline
- a platform where He uses me in speaking, writing, coaching – me, God?
- a small group of believers who pray with and for me, love me, and encourage me each Sunday
- future hope in Him.
- so much more!
My life is not my own. It belongs to Him.
God my loving Father has carried me all my life.
Through all the pain. All the tears.
Then collected them in His bottle.
Turned the tears into liquid worship of Him and balm to help heal other women’s wounded souls.
Jesus is my shelter from the storm. Psalm 91.
All I can do is fall down and worship Him for His grace, mercy, forgiveness, and above all His LOVE in my life.
Everything rides on FAITH – in Christ.
Click on Video below – You Carried Me
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